Merry Christmas, Neal
by madeleine G
Summary: Pre-series. Peter is staking out Neal’s apartment at Christmas. Neal changes everyone’s plans for Christmas. Neal meets Elizabeth. No slash.


Merry Christmas, Neal

Pre-series. Peter is staking out Neal's apartment at Christmas. Neal changes everyone's plans for Christmas. No slash. Sorry, it's two months past the holiday, but today is when I finished it. It's my first fanfic, so please be kind.

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Peter was cold, tired and frustrated but not yet willing to give up on his hunch about Neal Caffrey. Caffrey had stolen the Matisse. Peter was sure of it. He was also sure Caffrey hadn't had a chance to pass it to his fence yet.

But it was Christmas day. Caffrey would see advantage in the FBI's being short-staffed today and not as vigilant. And he would be right. That was why Peter was here outside Caffrey's apartment by himself. He wasn't willing to ruin other agents' Christmases on nothing more than a hunch. So he watched and waited and hoped he wasn't wasting both his time and the dwindling goodwill of his beloved wife.

The snowfall was getting heavier. The city might well be snowed in by tomorrow if this kept up. His reached for his coffee cup. It was ice cold, and so was he. Damn Caffrey! He was so going to enjoy clasping handcuffs on him. He allowed himself to imagine again the sweet satisfaction of hearing them click shut on the man he'd chased for almost three years now. What a lovely sound!

Reality intruded into his little fantasy with a different sound--his cell phone. He didn't recognize the number, but answered "Agent Burke, here."

And there it was—that silky, warm, caressing voice. "Merry Christmas, Peter! It's Neal. I feel bad that you are sitting out there alone in the cold, and I'd like to make you an offer. Consider it a Christmas gift."

"The only gift I want from you is a confession," Peter responded sharply.

"Maybe some other time," Neal chuckled. "But for now I want to offer you my word that I won't do anything worse than jaywalking for the next 24 hours. You can go home and spend Christmas with your wife. What do you say?"

"I say that now I'm sure you're up to something. You're not getting rid of me today. We **will **be spending Christmas together, Caffrey, so you can forget about whatever other plans you had."

A brief silence followed. Then Neal responded brightly, "What an excellent idea, Peter! We'll talk soon." Neal hung up.

Dismayed, Peter stared at the phone, trying to figure out just what "excellent idea" he had unwittingly given him. Neal Caffrey with an idea was never a good thing.

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Not too long after that phone call, Peter decided he had to have a quick break. Trying to do surveillance without a partner was tricky. He quickly went into the small deli a few doors down from Neal's building, used the restroom and had his thermos refilled with coffee. He was back in his car in under ten minutes.

Ten minutes was about nine and a half more than Neal needed to slip out of his building and disappear into the falling snow. With his uncanny knack for hailing cabs, he was on his way to Peter's home before Peter had even made it through the door of the deli.

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Arranging his most trustworthy expression on his face, Neal rang the doorbell at Peter and Elizabeth's home. El opened the door and couldn't help but respond to the brilliant smile on the face of the handsome young man standing there. Then recognition and astonishment vied for her expression. "You're…"

"Neal Caffrey," he finished for her. "And you must be Elizabeth. I apologize for arriving on Christmas, but I need your help."

At this point, Satchmo bounded out of the door and leaped up on Neal. Laughing, Neal squatted down to hug the dog who had immediately fallen in love with the conman.

A wistful expression on his face now, Neal continued, "I want to bring Peter home for Christmas, but he's being stubborn. So I need a 'partner in crime' to convince him. Can you help me save him from himself?"

Neal and the dog looked up at Elizabeth with the same hopeful expression in their soulful eyes, their heads tilted at the same angle. And, without being quite sure why, El found herself motioning the two of them to come in the house.

Fascinated at the chance to meet her rival for Peter's attention, El invited him to sit down, offered him a glass of wine and waited to be charmed. He didn't disappoint.

He explained his plan and finished by assuring her of his sincerity. "I honestly like Peter, and I respect him, Elizabeth. I know he can't accept gifts from suspects, but this is different. This is something you and he could have together, if you are willing to take a chance." His beautiful blue eyes, all wide and innocent, pleaded with her to agree.

"God, he's good," thought El. She dearly wanted to spend Christmas with her husband. She hated the thought of him alone and cold and far away from her arms. And here was the answer to her wish, sitting in front of her and begging her to just say "yes." Peter was not going to be happy about it, but she decided it might just be worth a try.

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Smiling when he saw it was his wife calling, Peter answered his phone, "Hi, Honey, are you baking cookies?"

"Well, I was starting to when we received an unexpected guest. I've invited him to stay for dinner. Now, please don't be angry with me, but I want you home. If this is what it takes to get you here, then I'm all for it."

Confused now, Peter asked "First, who is this mystery guest? And second, I can't leave just yet, El. I really think Caffrey is planning something."

"I'll let our guest explain it. Just so you know, I am fine, there's no problem here, we are just talking…and making cookies. Oh, and drinking wine." At this, El failed to suppress her giggles. "Here is our guest." El handed the phone to Neal.

"Hi, Peter! When you said we were going to spend Christmas together, I realized it wasn't fair to exclude Elizabeth. So here I am. If you insist on keeping surveillance on me today, you'll have to do it from your own kitchen." Neal held the phone away from his ear for a minute to let the torrent of curses, threats and dire predictions Peter was bellowing subside. "Peter, Peter, please! Calm down. Everything is fine. Just come home."

"Get out of my house. Get away from my wife. Now!" Peter barked.

"That would be rude. Elizabeth has invited me to stay. Now I can tell you're upset, so we should get off the phone. You need to concentrate on your driving. The weather really is getting bad. I'll give the phone back to Elizabeth. And Peter, just so you don't worry, I swear to you, Elizabeth is fine. You know me well enough to understand I would never do anything to hurt either of you." Neal handed the phone to El.

"Honey, please drive carefully. I want you home in one piece. We'll talk when you get here." Not brave enough to wait for his reply, El hung up. Smiling at Neal, she sighed and said "Well, that went as well as expected. You know this could blow up in both our faces."

Neal replied, "Maybe, but I still think it's better than the three of us spending Christmas alone for no good reason. Whatever happens, Elizabeth, I want you to know I appreciate your trusting me and inviting me into your home." The gratitude and angelic innocence of his smile enveloped her in almost tangible warmth.

El sighed. "God, he's good!"

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Peter drove home as fast as the worsening snow storm would allow. He entered his house quietly, his gun drawn. He knew in his head that Neal would never hurt El, but there was still instinctual fear knowing she was alone with a criminal. He heard voices coming from the kitchen. Two part harmony? He was pretty sure terrified hostages did not sing two part harmony with their captors. El was laughing. The fear dissolved and his stomach unclenched. He holstered his weapon and entered the kitchen. "Peter!" squealed El and gave him a warm hug and kiss.

Neal leaned against the pantry door with a satisfied smirk on his face. "Welcome home, Peter," he purred. "Let me pour you some wine."

After a few minutes of watching his slightly tipsy wife merrily interacting with his ever-smiling conman, he realized that throwing Caffrey out of his house was not going to be an option. Even if he could manage it, he would still have the problem of watching Caffrey's every move. He was neatly cornered in his own house. But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, after all.

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Neal Caffrey proved to be the perfect guest. He helped with the dinner preparations, all the while telling entertaining stories and listening appreciatively to his hostess's tales of life with an FBI agent. He was charming, witty and made you feel privileged to have him in your home. The few times that Peter tried to sneak in questions about "alleged" crimes, Neal politely deflected them and changed the subject to bring Elizabeth back into the conversation. He had El laughing and beaming at her uninvited guest. Peter maintained a wary distance, but appreciated how much El was enjoying herself. She'd spent too many holidays alone during their marriage. He was both pleased to see her happy and a little guilty at how it had come about. Without the criminal's intervention, El would have spent a long, lonely Christmas by herself. And so would he.

Dinner over, dishes done, the three settled in the living room. A Christmas tradition for El, she insisted on watching "A Christmas Carol." A long discussion ensued on which version of the movie was the best. El preferred the Alistair Sim version from 1951. Neal approved—he appreciated a woman who liked the classics. Neal's favorite was the George C. Scott version. Peter didn't weigh in on the conversation, but Neal had his suspicions that the Mr. Magoo animated movie might have been a contender. Neal could imagine Peter as a fan of cartoons.

After the movie, Neal stood and turned to thank his hostess. "Elizabeth, this has been a lovely evening. Thank you so much for having me. But I should really be going, it's..."

Elizabeth interrupted him "Neal, don't even think of leaving in this weather. We have a perfectly good guest room, and you are spending the night. No objections."

Neal started to demur until he saw Peter's shocked expression. He quickly decided that spending the night might be a fine idea. If nothing else, it would pique Peter's annoyance level—a game which Neal found hard to resist.

"No, no, no, El. He is not going to sleep here. No." Peter insisted shaking his head.

"Have you looked outside in the last hour? He won't find a cab tonight, and I am not sending our guest out in this weather, and that's final. And you are not going out in it either," she concluded as Peter opened his mouth to offer to drive Caffrey home.

Neal meanwhile was reveling in Peter's discomfiture and inability to overrule his wife.

"El, we cannot have a criminal in our home overnight," Peter tried again. I won't be able to sleep knowing he's roaming around our house freely."

"And I wouldn't be able to sleep for worrying about him out in this weather.

"I wouldn't feel secure with him here unless I had him in chains!"

"He's not leaving!"

"He's not staying!"

"If I might make a suggestion…?" Neal interrupted the increasingly agitated exchange of ultimatums. Both Peter and El looked at Neal expectantly. "What if I allow Peter to handcuff me to the bed frame? That way I can stay, and he can feel secure at that same time."

Elizabeth took a deep breath preparing to protest.

Smiling sadly, the conman cut her off, "Really Elizabeth, I don't mind. I arranged this to give Peter a Christmas at home as my gift to him. If handcuffing me would be the ribbon on that gift, I'm willing." His head bowed slightly, his hands folded in front of him, Neal's air of saintly martyrdom was palpable.

In his mind Peter heard that satisfying sound again—handcuffs clicking closed on Neal Caffrey's wrists. Oh, that would be a joy to hear for real! And here Caffrey was offering it to him. Temptation, the con artist's bread and butter. Caffrey had such a talent for knowing exactly what to offer his mark to make them take the bait. God, he was good!

And Peter was stuck with a choice—accept the offer and keep his wife happy or reject it and spend who knows how long coaxing an angry, resentful Elizabeth back to good Christmas spirits. And it was Christmas. He was inclined to believe that Caffrey just might not have an ulterior motive. He and El certainly did not have any rare paintings or precious jewels that would entice a thief. And he had to admit that El was right--finding a cab in this weather on Christmas night was very unlikely.

It was settled, as El had known from the start.

Neal Caffrey was sleeping over.

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Not too long after, Neal found himself settled in bed in the guest room. Peter knocked on the door and entered holding a pair of handcuffs. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, he asked if Caffrey was ready to be hooked up. Smiling up at Peter, he held out his right wrist. Peter clicked the cuff closed listening for that familiar sound. The grin on Caffrey's face told him he knew exactly what Peter was thinking. His next words confirmed it.

"Did that feel good, Peter? You know that this is just temporary. But maybe someday it will be for real. And you should know that there is no one else I would want to catch me except you."

"You never stop running a con, do you, Caffrey?" Peter said as he hooked the other cuff to a bar on the brass headboard.

A fleeting expression of hurt crossed the conman's face. "I'm being truthful. And aren't we on a first name basis yet, Peter?"

"No, we're not."

"But why not, Peter? Haven't you enjoyed your Christmas gift? I think Elizabeth has, so maybe this makes up to her in some small way for all the time you've spent away from her because of me. I truly just wanted to do something nice for you."

The expression on Neal's face was that of a small boy seeking approval. Sincere and apparently authentic, it reached Peter. He had a absurd desire to pat the conman on the head and tell him "good boy!" Incredible the feelings Caffrey could evoke in him all the way from exasperation to affection, and frequently at the same time.

Relenting, Peter admitted "It was very nice. Thank you."

Caffrey watched Peter intently, waiting.

"And Merry Christmas… Neal."

As soon as he said it, he saw a light flare in Neal's eyes and had the sinking feeling that he had just been conned but good. This may well have been the whole point of the entire Christmas gift from Neal. But he had to admit, it was really a small price to pay for the chance to spend the day, and the night, at home with his wife.

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Next morning, Peter rose early intending to release Neal. The door to the spare room was already open. Certain of what he was going to find—or not find, Peter sprinted down the hall. Yup, the room was empty, the bed neatly made, the handcuffs arranged on top of a folded note addressed to him.

Sighing, he sat on the bed and opened the note.

"Dear Peter,

I'm sorry I had to leave—I so would have enjoyed sharing breakfast with you and Elizabeth. But I have to catch a plane this morning. I am joining Kate for a much needed vacation somewhere warm. I'll send you a postcard.

As to that business matter you were concerned with, that was concluded long before you ever arrived outside my apartment. My gift to you was sincere. I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly did.

We should do it again soon.

I'll call you if I'm 'free' for Valentine's Day.

Love,

Neal"

God, Caffrey was good. No, Peter thought to himself, chuckling, "Neal" was good.


End file.
